I’m a glutton for Liam Neeson movies, but even he can’t save trash like CLASH OF THE TITANS or UNKOWN.

For this reason I went into The Grey with high hopes, but had my reservations.

January is generally a dumping ground for crappy cinema, and in spite of Liam Neeson being a wicked bad ass, he’s walking the fine line of becoming a parody of himself.

Never the less, Neeson and the film as a whole DO deliver. Minus ONE scene that is purely preposterous, the movie sticks. It’s a boiled down survival story, with enough tension to keep you itching for more.

What surprised me most was a theme that I haven’t seen since Darabont’s THE MIST. Maybe it’s just a commonality among two-syballed titles, but it was jarring to watch this film take a clean shot at religion. The film stresses the here and now, and dances with the idea of nothing more. No god, no heaven, no magical fairy tales of pearly gates.

This isn’t meant to be a religious editorial, and The Grey carefully nudges at the idea without being religious itself. Never the less, it was thrilling to watch a movie that dared explore such a dark idea. But that’s what is exciting about The Grey. It’s a character study for the mainstream audience. The story could have easily dipped into independent faire, but is instead populated by sharp-toothed wolves that simply don’t give a damn.

Speaking of wolves, for those who like The Grey and want a similar story amongst teenagers, check out 2010′s FROZEN.

Great little write up about Heartour.

CHECK IT OUT HERE.

Shot off some photos tonight for Ground Zero over at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip.

Cool venue, great performance, and some nice photos to boot.

Took over 650 shots with my Canon 7D… which has been in repair for the past month. Canon, with truly the worst customer care I have ever experienced, deserves its own blog entry at later date…

Meanwhile, I haven’t received any spam (read below to see what I’m talking about) in about a week. Perhaps Adam Wince over at W4 finally figured out how to make it stop…even though it wasn’t coming from him, of course.

To top off this entry of random updates… I saw Contraband over the weekend… or should I say Departed 6 with Marky Mark. Thoroughly entertaining but equally ridiculous. Not exactly worth the price of admission, but I simply can’t resist supporting Boston’s favorite Kid on the Block.

Enjoy these snaps for now… I’ll show you the rest when I figure out how to use Flickr… and yes, I’m sure it is easy, and no, I haven’t tried yet.

I’m still getting an enormous amount of spam. I’ve been forwarding every email to Adam Wince.

I’m sill receiving spam, and I’ve been forwarding it straight to Adam Wince at W4.

He is now claiming innocence.

His current story is the same as Endeavor’s: he is only responsible for the one “Assisted Living” ad and not any of the others. He’s “looking into it.”

I’ve never actually eaten spam. There’s a twisted-cell in my brain that is dying to fry some up in a butter-filled pan and make a Spamtastic sandwich.

I have, however, been BOMBARDED by email-spam for the past several weeks. Now this wasn’t my normal “Sign Up For New Services At Time Warner” or “Vegas.com Cheap Hotels” or a variety of other related offers that I’ve come to expect. You see, I use these services. I have Time Warner for my cable/internet, I have AllState for car insurance, I use Vegas.com to book hotels etc.

I’m not happy about it, but I understand WHY I am receiving these offers. I’m sure, when I signed up or used these services in the past, there was a tiny little checkbox that I forgot to mark and now I’m being punished for it. Likewise, if I truly felt like it, I could go and find that little check box and OPT-OUT.

That’s what this entry is about. The rape-whistle of email garbage. The No-Means-No of inexcusable electronic affronts. Pro-Choice to abort email abuse.

You see… I’m content with healthy flirts. You know… that expected spam that means no harm. Hell… I actually end up clicking on the offer once in a while. Vegas.com, VirginAmerica etc, are companies I use and trust, and when they send me an offer, I don’t accept it with welcome arms, but I don’t sound the tornado warning either.

Lately I’ve been mauled by a wholly different animal. Every day for about three or four weeks, I’ve received two to three emails a day for random products. Each email is structured EXACTLY the same way, with the sender, for example, being “test@pqcr112odedication.com” or “test@ospd321ostandup.com”. That is, every email from this spam-generator is coming from TEST@Random-String-Of-Letters-And-Numbers.com. So every email I receive from these people is coming from, well, the same “these people”, albeit a different email address.

Likewise, at the bottom of each email is a bullshit “Unsubscribe” link, that just links me to a different, mostly fraudulent or defunct website. Never the less I tried clicking and unsubscribing, multiple times through multiple emails, to no avail. In fact… I have a feeling these Unsubscribe links are just signing me up for more spam. I have no proof of that but I’d call it a safe bet.

So I start looking into these advertised companies inside the spam emails to see if they even exist. The graphic above is made from the actual ads. “In need of cash” or “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” etc…

The ads either linked to what I consider a complete mirage of a company, OR to the main website of a bigger company, such as AVIS. Either way, it was now clear that it is an ad company in my rifle’s crosshairs, not the companies themselves being advertised.

This was starting to piss me off. Not only was I getting spam, but I couldn’t opt out of it, and the ads were coming from a seemingly impenetrable source.

I dug deeper.

I went through every single ad looking for an actual source, and finally I discovered EndeavorAds.com based in Santa Monica. Perfect. I could drive there myself and punch out the President if need be.

I sunk my claws into the company and it seemed legit. Pictures of the people who worked there on the website and an actual phone number to call. So I called it.

One phone call and several emails later I had the president of the company, Josh Stomel, apologizing for the inconvenience, promising to look into the matter and stating that he was to sever ties with the company responsible for the egregious spam.

Josh suggests that I found his company through an actual ad of his… but an ad that was being perpetuated in a bigger spamming device. Whatever it was, I took his word and considered the matter settled.

The next day I received ANOTHER motherfucking piece of spam.

I email Josh back asking for this “source” of his. He emailed me immediately with Adam Wince’s email address, an Account Executive at w4.com, ANOTHER ad agency.

Several emails later, after I had to explain to this genius WHY I can not unsubscribe from his ads, he promises to put me on a truly riveting list called the “Global Suppression File.” If I had a dollar for every Global Suppression File I was put in…

That brings me up to today.

Ultimately I simply have to give a giant FUCK YOU to w4.com. Now, I already know I’m missing pieces of this puzzle. Perhaps EndeavorAds and W4 are in cahoots… perhaps I’ll still be getting spam. Perhaps asshole spammers located in Santa Monica should make it easier to fucking unsubscribe from their bullshit, possibly fraudulent, email trash. Perhaps every time I receive one of these spam emails in the future I will forward them directly to Adam Wince. Every time.

In conclusion, here is Adam’s email address, and if you ever get similar spam, or you just feel like taking your PSSD (Post Spamatic Stress Syndrome) out on someone who deserves it, here ya go:

Adam Wince: adamw@w4.com

Seriously… what the fuck? It’s one thing to donate money to a Nigerian Prince whose family can pay me back ten fold, but to have a company, located less than 20 miles away, fucking my email like that, with no way out other than to turn into Veronica Mars for a week, well… it’s just inexcusable.

Seriously, we should find these serial-spammers and take them to the gallows. I understand the power and need to advertise, and I respect it. But spammers should allow us out, and make it easy to do.

Fuck you W4. You run a slimy game and although you clearly have no shame to garner, you should Globally Suppress your fucking head in a razor-blade covered vice.

UPDATE:

THE PLOT THICKENS.

Literally as I was about to post this blog entry I received ANOTHER SPAM EMAIL (photo below). I forwarded it immediately to Adam.

He responds:

WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY FROM THEN?

Time to Occupy W4.

Updates to come as I receive them…

I’m excited for Justified to return. Loving the new posters around town. Anyone else catch the resemblance below?

Coincidence? I think not…

Happy New Year everybody! I for one am more than happy to embrace 2012 with open arms. 2011 seems mostly stagnant to me in retrospect, especially in the theaters…I hit the ground running at the theaters after returning from Israel. Literally a movie a day for the past six:

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

Another stylistic notch off Fincher’s belt, but an imperfect carbon copy of the original film. What Fincher gained in visual flair he lost in story. I’ve seen this movie already, and I saw it told better. Not a complete waste of time, but I was hoping for a variation of the original, or at least an improvement. I got neither. Performances were monotone, with Roony Mara being more a lit candle in a large dark room, than a blazing fire to light it. This film was good, but nothing more. Hat tip to the music-video title sequence that looked sweet, despite its randomness.

CARNAGE

With a great cast and incendiary director Roman Polanski at the helm, how could I resist? Based on a play, and it felt like it, as the claustrophobic film felt like another veteran director exercising his skills more than actually using them. Then again, perhaps this one-room experiment was more a testament to Polanksi’s legal issues than anything else. This one was watchable, with a moments of fun, but instantly forgettable.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL

Enjoyable and entertaining with as much nutritional value as a Big Mac. Certainly digestible as popcorn fun, but not as a full meal. Tom Cruise, who I usually like, came off as cardboard in this heavily diluted spectacle.

THE ADVENTURES OF TIN TIN

Spielberg, Spielberg, where art thou Spielberg? ET will remain on my top five list of all-time, but I fear his candy coated sentiment has spoiled almost everything he’s made in the past ten (or more) years. The 3D here did a fantastic job at darkening the screen. This PURE-PLOT-NO-STORY formula left me utterly unfulfilled. You could turn the sound off on this one and be just as easily amused.

THE ARTIST

The best film on this list and one of the best of the year. It took me about 20 minutes to sink into this silent film, but once I did, I was hooked. This is a great film because, unlike the others on this list, there is a fantastic story at the heart of it. Fear not the black and white, fear not the silence. Check this film out. Dog lovers will rejoice.

THE DARKEST HOUR

OK… I admit… I knew this was going to be bad. Needless to say, it lived up to all my expectations. A subtler version of the equally terrible SKYLINE, the biggest surprise here is Emile Hirsch who used be considered a somewhat legitimate actor. I think Speedracer broke him, and now he’s fallen from grace and into the shitty-teen-horror genre. Don’t bother with this one. Genuine crap.

I’ll have to post my tops of the year later, but off the bat DRIVE undoubtedly will be at the top. Whether that’s a compliment to DRIVE or a jab to this year in movies, I’ll let you decide.

So much to talk about!

Just got back from Israel. Pretty amazing trip. The picture below is one I took of another traveller playing the guitar for me at around 2am on the beach right outside of Tel Aviv. More pictures to follow.

I’m seeing about a a movie a day, so I’ll have to put together some mini reviews. In the past three days alone I’ve seen Mission Impossible, Dragon Tattoo, Carnage, and today I’m seeing the Artist.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday and amping up for a fresh new year!!

Experimenting with time-lapse in Sherman Oaks.

Free shot of my choice for the first person who tells me what movie the song is from.

Stop googling.

Saw Immortals the other day. Minus a couple minutes of polished action, it was just dreck. Tarsem’s The Fall was great, The Cell at least looked cool, but this was expensive ($19 3D tickets EACH!) waste of time.

The best part is I read a long article in Variety detailing how they did not shoot Immortals in 3D, but they planned ahead, did it in post, and even made the prints brighter for 3D screens to reduce the darkening effect of the glasses, blah blah blah. The article claimed that because they planned ahead for 3D, it was going to look fantastic. In truth, it looked like shit, with terrible FX, a lame story, and a lackluster if not damning performance by Henry Cavill AKA: the new Superman.

On the flip side Mickey Rourke, who I had no idea was even in this movie, put on a nice show as the villain. He’s a great character actor, and if there’s anything to be gained from this movie it’s knowing that Rourke’s getting some well deserved pay checks.

Director Tarsem reminds me of Tim Burton, who has been criticised for being a production designer only, with elaborate sets yet no substance to his films. I don’t agree with this, and even Burton naysayers admit to at least one or two Burton movies they have a fondness for.

Tarsem has only made three movies with a fourth on the way: his spin on Snow White, titled Mirror, Mirror just released a trailer, and unfortunately, it looks like another trainrweck.

Tarsem’s clearly an auteur with a vision, which makes this fall from grace all the more painful to watch. We’ll see if the Box Office continues to let this garbage hit the silver screen.

Videos coming soon…

WATCH HERE.

And watch Community if you’re confused.

Let’s go people… let’s see something original for once:

Click HERE to see what I mean.

IN TIME:

Dated production design, predictable plot and cheesy acting by Justin Timberlake. I like the gimmick but the edges were too rough for me to buy into it. Amanda Seyfried shines a different side of her that we have yet to see, but the flimsy script and B-level production make this a rental at best.

J. EDGAR:

Saw a sneak peak of J. Edgar with Alyss. Brooding and slow, like an informative documentary hard-boiled by Chef Eastwood. It’s slick, stylish and genuinely interesting, but make sure to drink some coffee before you buy the tickets.

The old-person makeup was hot and cold, less convincing on DiCaprio but seamless on Armie Hammer, who is the real star here. People questioned his strength after The Social Network, but his performance here as Clyde Tolson, J. Edgar’s right-hand man, proves this kid will stay in the picture for a long time to come.

Leo is an immovable staple of great performances, and once again he pulls off a tough role with swagger, but much like Gangs Of New York, he let’s his co-star steal the show. It’s worth a ticket if the topic interests you, otherwise I’d skip it. It had hints of Boardwalk Empire in it’s execution, which, in the end, is just a testament to Boardwalk’s power in keeping its audience at the edge of their seats, unlike this film. Worth a shot for history buffs and cinephiles.

MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE:

I didn’t even know the Olsen twins had another sister. This one is a bit of a slow-burn, but like a good cigar will fill you up. Truly slick filmmaking in combining the past, present and delusion into one indecipherable tale of America’s lost souls. Very cool indie, and a nice introduction for Elizabeth Olsen who will undoubtedly ride this performance into higher profile roles. John Hawkes carves another notch in his belt, further solidifying his place as one of the top character actors working today. I’d recommend this one for sure, if only I could stop forgetting the ridiculously long title.

That’s it for now. Anyone seen The Rum Diary yet? I thought I wanted to see it, but apparently not bad enough. I guess even Johnny Depp isn’t bulletproof at the box-office.

Check out Tailgate 48 every Thursday on The Big Ten Network to see Jason Fisher in action. 

Based on his performance I’d say he’s a shoe-in for host of American Idol season 26.

Watch some clips HERE.

Wolfman Nathan taking a break from attacking innocent, gun wielding, temptresses.

The ELECTROLIGHTZ breaking it down at the Fox Theatre. I helped them out with some simple video art as seen behind them.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Check out my new aptly-themed video for the band MOON DUO.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH!

I’ve finally succumbed to popular pressure and started watching SONS OF ANARCHY. The buzz on this show is coming at me from all angles, and I figure I better jump on the train now before people poison the well with drool filled puddles of praise. Overhype CAN kill a show, and with my ears to the rail, SOA seems to be the new IT show. I may be late to the game, but most people I know don’t watch it, and the chatter is just permeating my circles…

Some of that chatter proclaims that Anarchy is better than BREAKING BAD, which I’ll beleive when I see it. Breaking Bad is untouched in it’s flawlessness. Forget that it’s the best show on TV, it’s the best thing you can watch anywhere right now. We’ll see what oscar season brings to the table, but so far 2011 hasn’t brought much, film wise, that holds a candle to Breaking Bad. Except for DRIVE, with Bryan Cranston of course. That ends my overhype of Breaking Bad.

If you watch Anarchy, I’d love to hear your thoughts. We’ll see where it lands on the hit list once I catch up.

For now, my top five TV shows still airing new episodes are:

1. Breaking Bad

2. Mad Men

3. Boardwalk Empire

4. Justified

5. Modern Family and Californication.

Ok that was six, but Modern Family is not only funny, but smart in avoiding bored comedy pitfalls, and instead is a fresh and charming Wednesday treat. Meanwhile, I loved the X-Files back in the day, but Duchovny was born to play Hank Moody in Californication.

Community is fantastic as well, and The Walking Dead is hot and cold, but I can’t seem to stop watching. Zombies are irresistible, and with new Darabont-less direction I’m excited to see where it lands. Few can touch the amazingness of The Shank, but I’ve got a feeling that the shakeup could produce a smooth ride after a bumpy first season.

What are you watching?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Pumpkin design by the world renowned pumpkin artist Alyssa Levy.

I recently helped produce and edit a reality sizzle reel for a potential reality show based on a well known dating company. The Miami shoot was a blast, with Executive Producer Jason Fisher at the helm, Andrew Whittaker behind the camera and local hire Chris Nickless crushing it on sound.

The trip to Miami was fun, and the shoot was a breeze, but after months of breathing reality in the edit room I think I’ll stick to fiction.

If you’re interested in clouding your eyes and ears with some reality noise, check out the fruits of our labor HERE.

Douglas Funnie presents…

As the internet quickly becomes the predominate way people intake media, I feel it’s important for filmmakers to keep their eye on how audiences are watching films.

From the theatre to iTunes and Netflix, there’s a variety of methods to get our filx fix, and my FELL OF THE TRUCK series of reviews will be that gray area where, well, the movie just kind of fell of the truck and landed on my computer’s hard drive. Odd series of events indeed.

First up is ATTACK THE BLOCK, from writer/director Joe Cornish. Another example of a first time feature director pulling out all the stops. The story is slightly formulaic and admittedly predictable at points, but its slick as oil filmmaking prove that you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to make a good movie.

What is unique about ATB is the strong group of original characters Cornish has brought to the screen, a true rarity in filmmaking today. The movie follows a group of South London teenage thugs who, through the frame of an alien invasion, bond with a twenty-something female nurse. Cornish does an incredible job of creating a dark first impression of these people, that, just like in real life, turns out to be wrong once we get to know them.

Some standardized scares including an apartment door’s peep hole is clear evidence of Cornish’s attention to what works (even if it came from YouTube) and bringing it to the big screen with swagger.

It’s fun, scary, and simply, well done. Check it out on DVD October 25 and watch for The Adventure’s of Tin Tin, directed by Spielberg and written by Cornish on December 21, 2011.

I’m grinding away in the editing room for a special Halloween themed music video for the band MOON DUO. For now, enjoy this hairy screen grab!

We shot this video in my garage. When we began… ALL the walls were blue. Check out John Wilson’s TIME LAPSE of the whole production.

Welcome!

First off, a giant thank you to my brother Mike. Mike is a genius computer hacker who has brilliantly coded this entire website to tick like clockwork. Thank you again Mike for your tireless efforts. You did an amazing job and your huge check is in the mail. Just call fedex if it gets lost. I don’t have a tracking number.

I’m wicked excited to get this site rolling. The header at the top states “confessions” and I plan on doing exactly that.  I work in an industry where your Facebook photo is more important than a college degree, and things like minimum wage don’t apply. There’s no biz like showbiz, because well, that would be illegal everywhere else.

I know this internet thing is new to all of you so let me give you a quick tour of the site:

The LATEST section above will be my most recent work, or any big news. The LAST CHECK IN section below that was designed specifically for any potential stalkers that want to say hello in person.

This here is my BLOG, where I can assault your sense of humanity with tales from Hollywood’s abyss.

After that you can calm your nerves with my videos to the left.

That’s it for now. We’ll keep this first entry short and sweet. The venom comes later…

Enjoy the site and watch your back… from me… in my blog…

Seriously, don’t fuck with me.

-M